Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
