Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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