More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize