You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
