youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
