i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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