South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
