I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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