He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
