And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think my moral compass just broke
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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