my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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