Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
