i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We are all done wearing pants today
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
