Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
