I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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