We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
this hospital has no fireball
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
