I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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