Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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