By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
