you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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