Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
