In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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