so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
