Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
