And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize