im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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