so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
