Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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