I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
