yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
