We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
