got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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