if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
