she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
