so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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