I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
