I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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