Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I would ride that face into the sunset
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
