I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
