We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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