Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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