Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
