so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ketchup is God's man juice
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
