Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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