So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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