I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
