I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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