Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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