Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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