Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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