I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
operation harelip BJ is a go
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
