So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
