I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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