Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
