I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
