I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
