no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
